things to look forward to in five days:
partying my soul away
hair removal
having good coffee in the sun
reading bulgakov
filling myself with as much alcohol as can physically hold
seeing almas in nottingham
six days in mykonos
seeing rae and farhana and lauren in london
scandinavia
When you last left me my blood was in a jar, And you kept it on your mantelpiece. I couldn’t count on anyone to stand there behind me and keep the dogs from dragging me off with them. While I slept you crept in and pulled the rug right out from under me. You stole away and took the parts that kept me functioning.
My heart will be blacker than your eyes when I’m through with you.
And I said, this life ain’t no love song while I marched on blindly. And my knuckles dragged across the walls. And the birds up there mock me and the scenery’s turned wicked. And your name is trapped beneath my tongue.
All of the roads are one now, each choice is the same. I won’t show my hands now, I know this ain’t a game.
Take a step, take another step, take another step, not a care for where they fall. You burned me, yeah you’ve burned me, yeah you’ve burned me now one too many times. My thoughts are the cold kind, I’ve got storm clouds that are brewing behind my eyes.
And my heart will be blacker than your eyes when I’m through with you.
favorite music video of all time.
1. stop overthinking things. don’t let anyone ruin your spirit. let it go, because no one owes anyone anything.
2. important traits for life: openness, courage, strength, freedom
3. too young to be jaded. snap out of this bullshit now. there is nothing more unattractive than a self-pitying and wallowing whiner
- Charles Bukowski, “Let It Enfold You” (via larmoyante)
(Source: gofuckingnuts)
this is incredible.
Marina Abramović - The Artist Is Present: This emotional exhibit, held in the Museum of Modern Art for three months in early spring 2010, featured Abramović sitting in a chair for the entirety of the day at the museum. Visitors were encouraged to sit silently across from the artist for a duration of their choosing, becoming participants in the artwork. Abramović, acting as an “emotional mirror” to the patrons, silently stared at them, often inducing deeply profound and heartbreaking reactions.
i wonder if you think about it still. if it has ever crept into your thoughts the same way it plagues my mind, seeping in occasionally in cruel whispers. the questions and the moments. the questions mostly, so many questions.
we’ve both drawn our swords. i’m not sure when exactly it happened when you let go, but the change is telling. it’s like a gated steel wall has come down over your heart.
our moment has passed, i’m sure of it now.
i’d thought i’d be different from the rest of them. not necessarily because i was better, i’m not, but just because i was like a mirror. i thought you’d be less careless. but like i told you once, you’re a chameleon. the shape of your body curves in alignment with the people around you. i want to say, i’m like you too. i said it a lot the last time, i’m less certain now. i was wrong to assume.
there’s something about the eagerness in your eyes and over-zealous speech that’s different now. or maybe it’s just an ingenuity you fold over yourself as a shield against the world that’s gotten stronger. or perhaps i’m different too, not as perceptive as i was then.
concealment of knowledge and secrets was our best game. if there’s anything i’ve learnt, i should have played my hand a little better.
